C

Caesar, Julius
Roman Emperor

Pizza! Pizza!
--first words

OK, one more time. What do I do when I get to the Rubicon?
--pulling over for directions on his way back from Gaul

No anchovies!
--ordering salad

Caligula
libertine Roman emperor

Veni. Veni. Veni.

Camel, Joe
animated smoking advocate

Larry Lead Paint Chip
"Airplane Glue" Jack
Ricky Runwithscissors
--other aliases

Capone, Al
gangster

Reward your friends, punish your enemies and save your receipts.
--advice to Al Jr.

Carson, Johnny
talk show king emeritus

For Chrissakes Ed, have a breath mint.

Casanova
legendary lover

I'll have a pack of ribbed Trojans, a tube of KY Jelly -- family size -- Vitamin E supplements......oh, and uh, uh, a bottle of Head-N-Shoulders.
--awkward teenage moment in a drug store

Castro, Fidel
Cuban dictator

Close but no cigar.
--telegram to JFK following Bay of Pigs invasion

cummings, e.e.
poet

if only i -- could sell acouple
of lousy p-o-e-m-s; ,
i could afford toget this
(damn)typewriter fixed.

Chamberlain, Wilt
basketball legend

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Happy Valentine's Day
# 9072

Chanel, Coco
fashion entrepreneur

Perfume No. 4 smells like goat cheese. Must keep trying.
--diary entry, 1919

Charles, Prince
aspiring Monarch

The Geek formerly known as Prince
--future title

Child, Julia
television gourmet

Of course, for those preparing this dish at home, fresh pate' is preferable to pureed Spam.
--making due with PBS cutbacks

Christ, Jesus
founder of Christianity

I'm sorry, Luke, I didn't know you were serving fish. I'll just turn it into a sauvignon blanc.
-- showing up at the Last Supper

I will be bigger than The Beatles.
--John 5:8

Churchill, Winston
British Prime Minister

Can you get blood, toil, tears and sweat out of this shirt?
--inquiry to dry cleaner

Clark, Dick
television personality

For Chrissakes Ed, have a breath mint.

Claus, Santa
Christmas courier

Yeah right. And I’m Santa Claus.
--meeting the Easter Bunny

I wish I had a present for you Timmy, but I’m afraid I just don’t believe ?in little boys.
--favorite taunt

Clinton, Hillary Rodham
First Lady

When I speak, E.F. Hutton listens.

Clinton, William Jefferson (Bill)
42nd U.S. President

You gonna finish that?
--remark to Francois Mitterand, State Dinner

No shirt. No shoes. No service.
--fallback position on controversial military personnel policy

Cochran, Johnnie
defense attorney

Honey, I know I'm late for dinner but I have a very plausible alibi.

Columbus, Christopher
explorer

We'll have the chicken tandoori, curried rice and a vegetable samosa.
--odd remark to the natives of San Salvador

Confucius
philosopher

An enigma wrapped inside a conundrum baked inside a tasty, lemony crust.
--recipe for fortune cookie

Cousteau, Jacques
oceanographer

Retournez le bateau. Tu as oublie d'apporter la sauce tartatr, espece d'idiot!
--translation: Turn back the vessel! You forgot to pack the tartar sauce, you idiot!

Crunch, Cap'n
cereal-loving seaman

Land ho! Prepare to go ashore for fresh milk and crunchberries, maties!