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Caesar, Julius
Roman Emperor
Pizza! Pizza!
--first words
OK, one more time. What do I do when I get to the Rubicon?
--pulling over for directions on his way back from Gaul
No anchovies!
--ordering salad |
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Caligula
libertine Roman emperor
Veni. Veni. Veni. |
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Camel, Joe
animated smoking advocate
Larry Lead Paint Chip
"Airplane Glue" Jack
Ricky Runwithscissors
--other aliases |
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Capone, Al
gangster
Reward your friends, punish your enemies and save your receipts.
--advice to Al Jr. |
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Carson, Johnny
talk show king emeritus
For Chrissakes Ed, have a breath mint. |
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Casanova
legendary lover
I'll have a pack of ribbed Trojans, a tube of KY Jelly -- family size -- Vitamin E supplements......oh, and uh, uh, a bottle of Head-N-Shoulders.
--awkward teenage moment in a drug store |
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Castro, Fidel
Cuban dictator
Close but no cigar.
--telegram to JFK following Bay of Pigs invasion |
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cummings, e.e.
poet
if only i -- could sell acouple
of lousy p-o-e-m-s; ,
i could afford toget this
(damn)typewriter fixed. |
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Chamberlain, Wilt
basketball legend
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Happy Valentine's Day
# 9072 |
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Chanel, Coco
fashion entrepreneur
Perfume No. 4 smells like goat cheese. Must keep trying.
--diary entry, 1919
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Charles, Prince
aspiring Monarch
The Geek formerly known as Prince
--future title |
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Child, Julia
television gourmet
Of course, for those preparing this dish at home, fresh pate' is preferable to pureed Spam.
--making due with PBS cutbacks |
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Christ, Jesus
founder of Christianity
I'm sorry, Luke, I didn't know you were serving fish. I'll just turn it into a sauvignon blanc.
-- showing up at the Last Supper
I will be bigger than The Beatles.
--John 5:8 |
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Churchill, Winston
British Prime Minister
Can you get blood, toil, tears and sweat out of this shirt?
--inquiry to dry cleaner |
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Clark, Dick
television personality
For Chrissakes Ed, have a breath mint. |
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Claus, Santa
Christmas courier
Yeah right. And Im Santa Claus.
--meeting the Easter Bunny
I wish I had a present for you Timmy, but Im afraid I just dont believe ?in little boys.
--favorite taunt |
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Clinton, Hillary Rodham
First Lady
When I speak, E.F. Hutton listens. |
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Clinton, William Jefferson (Bill)
42nd U.S. President
You gonna finish that?
--remark to Francois Mitterand, State Dinner
No shirt. No shoes. No service.
--fallback position on controversial military personnel policy |
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Cochran, Johnnie
defense attorney
Honey, I know I'm late for dinner but I have a very plausible alibi. |
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Columbus, Christopher
explorer
We'll have the chicken tandoori, curried rice and a vegetable samosa.
--odd remark to the natives of San Salvador |
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Confucius
philosopher
An enigma wrapped inside a conundrum baked inside a tasty, lemony crust.
--recipe for fortune cookie |
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Cousteau, Jacques
oceanographer
Retournez le bateau. Tu as oublie d'apporter la sauce tartatr, espece d'idiot!
--translation: Turn back the vessel! You forgot to pack the tartar sauce, you idiot! |
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Crunch, Cap'n
cereal-loving seaman
Land ho! Prepare to go ashore for fresh milk and crunchberries, maties! |
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