R

Raleigh, Sir Walter
colonial settler

There is no scientific evidence that conclusively proves that I invented cigarettes.
--congressional testimony

Reagan, Ronald
40th U.S. President

Let me see if I understand this correctly: the government is spending more jelly beans than we have in the jar.
--economic briefing with David Stockman

Revere, Paul
patriotic alarmist

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System!

Richards, Keith
rock & roll musician

Dress young and live in a good looking corpse.

Rizzuto, Phil "Scooter"
N.Y. Yankee announcer

Talk about tiramisu! Cora and I were out to dinner over at Dom Badami's new restaurant over in Hackensack. I mean, rich! White, do you eat that tiramisu? Ooh boy, I'm telling you. Tiramisu. Cannoli. Biscotti. Cora loves biscotti. If I don't hit too much traffic going over the bridge tonight, we are going to Tony Roma's new place in Teaneck. They got some kind of ribs there. Mmm! Although the last time I had ribs, I cracked a filling in my tooth and had to have all kinds of dental work done. Dr. Carmine Capprizzi over in East Brunswick. And his son, Carmine Jr. Just broke 200 bowling the other night! Ever crack a filling, White? Ouch!.........Hey! Did I mention today is Sal Maglie's birthday?
--calling final out of the 1977 World Series

Robert
parliamentarian

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP! JUST SHUT UP!
--incident prior to his rules of order

Robespierre, Francois
French Revolutionary leader

I may disagree with what you say but I'll defend to your death my right to kill you.

Robinson, Jackie
baseball player

Four words: L-A-P-D
--explaining his decision not to move west with the Dodgers.

Rockwell, Norman
wholesome Americana artist

Wanna hit?
--passing the pipe

Rommell, Erwin
Nazi Field Marshall

Fahrvergnugen.
--describing the pleasurable experience of driving a tank across North Africa.

Roosevelt, Franklin, D.
U.S. President

Eleanor, it's one thing for me to see other women -- but you?

It's not just fear itself. I am also petrified of cockroaches.
--therapy session

Rorschach, Hermann
psychiatric pioneer

Officer, that may look like a stop sign to you -- but I see a cherry tomato playing a clarinet.
--trying to talk his way out of a traffic ticket

Rubens, Peter Paul
painter

Waiter! More pasta! More eclairs! Eat up girls! I'm painting you in the morning!

Rushdie, Salman
author/Islamic heretic

Hi, this is Salman. I’m not in right now. Please leave your death threat after the beep.
--answering machine message

Ruth, George Herman "Babe"
baseball legend

Hey ump! Take a look at that cupcake in the right field bleachers. She's got some set, huh?
--famous "called shot"