Aaron to Avogadro

Bacchus to
Buttafuoco

Caesar to
Cap’n Crunch

D’Amato to
Dukakis

Earheart to Eve

Fonda to Freud

(Kenny) G. to
Gutenberg

Hammurabi to
Hussein

Isabella

Jackson to
Johnson

Kavorkian to
Kreskin

Laffer – Locke

MacArthur to
Mussolini

Napoleon to
Nostradamus

Oedipus to
Oswald

Pasteur to
Pythagoras

Quayle to Queeg

Raleigh to Ruth

Sacco to
Superman

Tarzan to
Tse-Tung

Unabomber
(see also K)

Valdez to
Virgin Mary

Waldheim to
Wright

Xerxes to
Malcolm X

Yeltsin

Zeus

booknotes

Pasteur to Pythagoras

P

Pasteur, Louis
biologist

I have read the mad, mad essays of Dr. Pierre Homogen. Ha! As if milk could be improved upon yet again!
--letter to the editor, England Journal of Medicine


Perot, H. Ross
billionaire populist

I'll take "Things that Make Sucking Sounds" for $100, Alex.
--Crackpot Week on Jeopardy!


Plato
philosopher

No, ma. We’re just good friends


Post, Emily
etiquette expert

I tried being polite but obviously that doesn’t work. Now quit calling me, you sonsabitches !!
-- refusing to switch her long distance service


Powers, J.D.
consumer satisfaction guru

On a scale of 1 to 5 -- with 1 being a thoroughly degrading experience and 5 being the fulfillment of your wildest fantasies -- how was it for you?


Presley, Elvis Aaron
King of Rock-n-Roll

FOOD, DRUGS & ROCK-N-ROLL!


Professor, the
castaway

I have needs too, Mrs. Howell. I need to get out of your hut before Mr. Howell gets back!
--the lost episode of Gilligan's Island


Prynne, Hester
adulteress, The Scarlet Letter

They should make him wear a C- minus.
--complaining about her lover, the Rev. Arthur Dimmesdale


Purdue, Frank
poultry king

OK, who's the wiseguy who plucked my head?


Pythagoras
inventor of the triangle

I love Venus. Venus loves me. But she also loves Aeschylus. Its complicated but I’ve figured out how it can work.