P

Pasteur, Louis
biologist

I have read the mad, mad essays of Dr. Pierre Homogen. Ha! As if milk could be improved upon yet again!
--letter to the editor, England Journal of Medicine

Perot, H. Ross
billionaire populist

I'll take "Things that Make Sucking Sounds" for $100, Alex.
--Crackpot Week on Jeopardy!

Plato
philosopher

No, ma. We’re just good friends

Post, Emily
etiquette expert

I tried being polite but obviously that doesn’t work. Now quit calling me, you sonsabitches !!
-- refusing to switch her long distance service

Powers, J.D.
consumer satisfaction guru

On a scale of 1 to 5 -- with 1 being a thoroughly degrading experience and 5 being the fulfillment of your wildest fantasies -- how was it for you?

Presley, Elvis Aaron
King of Rock-n-Roll

FOOD, DRUGS & ROCK-N-ROLL!

Professor, the
castaway

I have needs too, Mrs. Howell. I need to get out of your hut before Mr. Howell gets back!
--the lost episode of Gilligan's Island

Prynne, Hester
adulteress, The Scarlet Letter

They should make him wear a C- minus.
--complaining about her lover, the Rev. Arthur Dimmesdale

Purdue, Frank
poultry king

OK, who's the wiseguy who plucked my head?

Pythagoras
inventor of the triangle

I love Venus. Venus loves me. But she also loves Aeschylus. Its complicated but I’ve figured out how it can work.