M
MacArthur, Douglas
WWII General
Old soldiers die.
-- post-denial
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Machiavelli, Niccolo
political theorist
You won’t have Nick Machiavelli to kick around anymore.
--last press conference, 1521
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Manilow, Barry
sappy singer
Even I hate Michael Bolton.
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Marconi, Gugliemo
inventor of radio
And now our first caller, Mr. Alexander Graham Bell.
--inventing the radio call-in program
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Marcos, Imelda
disgraced Filipino politician and socialite
Angry mobs surround palace demanding my execution......Desperate. My world is collapsing........Negotiating refuge in Hawaii. Will need new sandals.
--diary entry, 1981
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Marshall, George C.
former U.S. Secretary of State
Finally, if the $40 billion in financial aid doesn't get Europe back on its feet, we can put up a huge Disney theme park in the middle of France. (Just kidding.)
--memo to Truman outlining the Marshall Plan
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Marx, Karl
Marxist
From each according to ability. To each according to his needs.
Plus tax and tip.
--splitting the bill with friends at a restaurant
Don’t give me that ‘communal property’ shit. The stereo is mine! --messy divorce settlement
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Maryanne
castaway
Well, Mrs. Howell, I have to admit I'm flattered, maybe even a little bit curious but.....
--the lost episode of Gilligan's Island
see also: Howell, Mrs. Thurston III
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Mayer, Oscar
lunch meat vendor
My salami has a first name. It’s "Mister Happy."
--crude remark
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McCarthy, Sen. Joseph
anti-communist
And Mr. Kozlowski, can you tell us the name of the baseball team you play for in Cincinnati?
--hearings on the infiltration of communists into professional sports
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Mendel, Gregor
geneticist/monk
I chose the celibate life of a monk because if I were to have a child, there was a 25% chance it would be a short, yellow pea.
--confused by the ramifications of his own experiments
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Michelangelo
painter/sculptor
Your Holiness, nobody said anything to me about using a drop cloth.
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Miranda, Carmen
Latin movie star
Never wear mango after Labor Day
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Molotov, Vyacheslav
Soviet revolutionary leader
Pffftuuuuu! This tastes like gasoline!
--tasting drink prepared in his honor.
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Mondale, Walter
1984 Democratic presidential candidate
As goes Massachusetts, so goes the District of Columbia.
--election night prophesy
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Montana, Joe
legendary quarterback
If I hear "It's A Small World After All" one more time I'm gonna strangle one of those stupid midgets.
--winning one too many Super Bowls
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Morse, Samuel
inventor
Dash, dot dash, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dash, dot, dash, dash dot, dot, dash, dot, dot, dash, dot, dot, dot, dot.
--last words (translation: Chest pains!)
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Moses
Hebrew leader
I know exactly where we are.
--after 38 years lost in the desert.
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Mozart, Wolfgang
composer
Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1599.
--hit single
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Mussolini, Benito
fascist
I torture! I massacre! I have plans for world domination! How come Hitler gets all the bad press?
--chewing out his press secretary, 1941
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